Subject:        	Now, For the Rest  of the Story...
Date sent:      	Fri, 10 Nov 2000 08:34:22 EST

It turns out that George Bush's DUI arrest is not a simple, "I
did it 24 years ago, I was wrong, let's move on" situation.  He
would have us believe that he faced his wrong head on, admitted
it, and paid his debt to society, and that now he is a repentant,
changed man.  It has been disclosed that much more took place
than has heretofore been reported.  Following is what actually
happened.

George W. Bush was found by an officer that night in 1976
dripping wet, stumbling along the highway after reports his car
was seen swerving and then careening off a bridge.  He had been
seen swimming away from the car as it disappeared under the
water's surface.

Later, found in Bush's car was the drowned body of a young female
intern that worked for his father.  When confronted with this
news, Bush shook his finger in the officer's face and denied
adamantly that he had any relationship with this woman, but
claimed he had tried to save her life earlier.

When asked if he had been drinking, Bush replied, "Yes, but I
didn't swallow."

Found in the trunk of the submerged car were top secret papers
obtained while his father was CIA director.  With the papers were
found names and phone numbers of Chinese government officials.
When asked about the impropriety of this, Bush replied that he
did not know of any "controlling legal authority" that handled
such matters.

When asked why he was drinking that night, Bush told that he was
upset and saddened about his dog who had died of arthritis
because Bush's financially challenged grandmother had used the
dog's cheaper medicine for her own arthritis.  When this was
later found to be untrue, Bush said that he was sorry that he got
some of the details wrong, but that these kinds of things do
happen, and he was sure somebody's dog had recently died.

Also found in his car that night was a bag marked "Daddy's
Campaign".  Inside the bag was an undisclosed amount of cash and
some Buddhist literature.  An officer inquired of Bush, "Is that
your bag?"  Bush replied, "It depends on what the meaning of is
is..."

Dadgum, P.I. (Politically Incorrect), my new name when I send this
stuff